DateCity

The FREE UK dating and contact site – January 2004 Issue

 

 

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Letters

is you love life giving you grief.  A problem shared …

Dear Datecity,

I am in love with the new guy in our office, however he doesn’t know it yet.  I (foolishly) told one of my other colleagues and now I getting continually teased to go and ask him out.  Trouble is I have always relied on men doing the asking and not the girls, hence I haven’t got the confidence to go and do it … Claire, Plymouth.

As the saying goes if you don’t ask, you don’t get!  However at first the asking always seems difficult.  Rather than just going straight up to him and asking him out be more subtle.  If he goes to town one lunch time, try and walk in with him.  Or suggest a group of you go for a drink after work and make an effort to chat with him.  Either way you will find out more about how you get on together and it will make the asking a lot easier – he may even beat you to it!

Dear Datecity,

I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for about a month now and he has started hinting about sex.  I am worried that he is a lot more experienced and I’m still a virgin.  I really like him and don’t mind starting to have sex with him, but if I’m bad at it he may leave me!  Help! … Liz, Cardiff.

Firstly don't worry about being a virgin. The only time this is a problem is if you are not ready for sex in your mind.  From what you say you are ready, just nervous.  You don’t need to be - most guys are actually more turned on by sleeping with a virgin.  Tell your boyfriend upfront so he is more gentle, and try and feel as good as possible about yourself.  i.e have a nice bath beforehand and get some new clothes for the night.  And when it comes to sex just concentrate on doing what feels good to you, and let him take the lead.

Dear Datecity,

I am really low in confidence when it comes to women, and I don't know what to do about it. I try going to nightclubs but I always feel nervous and never get anywhere. I feel very lonely and just want someone to be with ... Dave, Nottingham.

If you are not comfortable in nightclubs then do not use them to try and meet a girl, there are several other places where you will be much more comfortable and hence come across more confident. Try an evening class, or look through the local paper for a club or interest group that you could join or help out with.  Pick something you like, but that won’t be completely male interest.  Alternatively visit your local sports centre and put up a notice asking for a tennis or badminton partner. Either way you will have the chance to meet and get to know a girl in an environment where you can talk to her without the pressure of trying to chat her up.

 

Want to share your problem with us?  Just e-mail it to contributions@directpublishing.co.uk and change your name if you like.